A Parallel Between a Poker Game and Love
Laying Your Cards on the Table
As you know, I’m in the middle of teaching the Supreme Love course based on the book, Real Love by Greg Baer, M.D.
I was ecstatic when, in my favorite way, I received meditative information for the class (and you).
I have a doozy to share this time.
Deep in meditation…
I see with my inner eyes a room full of cigarette smoke, and as the smoke begins disappearing, I see several men sitting around a table playing poker.
I hear the sounds of cards shuffling, coins being handled, and indistinguishable chatter.
Much like a narrator telling a story, an overriding voice narrates.
The Voice
In a poker game, the players guard their cards and their money, as if they have only so much.
With concentrated effort, they determine how much they can afford to lose, yet all the while hoping they’ll win. There is only so much money to go around, and one has to make sure to get their fair share.
They bet on some and withhold some from others. If they feel they have a good hand, they’ll bet high, but if they feel they have a bad hand, they’ll bet low or bow out completely.
I SEE and HEAR
As I listen to the narrator, the poker game continues.
Like he’s right out of an old western, a dark-haired, rather tall man accuses one of the men of cheating.
He yells at him, calling him a cheater. The other man denies his accusation, “I’m not a cheater!”
But this only enrages the dark-haired man further. He suddenly rises, sending his chair crashing to the floor, and places a hand on his pistol—as if readying for a shootout.
The Parallel Between a Poker Game and Love
In many ways, the poker scene mirrors how so many of us approach love.
We sit at the table, trying to play our cards close to the chest, protecting ourselves, afraid of losing or being "cheated."
Just like the dark-haired man, we can be quick to jump to conclusions when we feel vulnerable — accusing, defending, reacting — without seeing the full picture. One perceived slight, one misunderstood action, and the old wounds rise, ready for a shootout.
Instead of staying present and seeking understanding, we reach for our inner weapons: anger, withdrawal, blame, or shutting down — all to protect a heart we’ve already deemed unsafe.
Like in that poker game, love can become more about winning or not losing, rather than about connection, openness, and trust.
But love, real love, is not a poker game. It is not about holding the best hand or outplaying another.
It is about laying your cards on the table — truthfully, openly, vulnerably, with a willingness to be seen and to see.
When we stop playing for protection and start loving with presence, we change our entire lives, and we experience real love.
As Greg Bauer, M.D., says, “ With real love, nothing else matters; without it, nothing else is enough.”
Today, instead of the inner joy compass, I’m resharing a story from the Real Love book that perfectly describes what unconditional love truly is.
Please take a moment and imagine while reading that it’s YOU arriving in this village.
Allow yourself to soak in the unconditional love.
Ready?
Deep breath.
Unconditional Love Story
Picture yourself relaxing in the back of a chauffeur-driven car. You’re on your way to a town two hours away. It’s a small town you’ve never visited. No one knows about this place but you and the people who live there.
Although it’s a beautiful place situated in a lovely valley, you’re not going there to see the sights. You’re going because everyone there is genuinely happy. They’re happy because they all feel loved. In this place, there is no fear or anger. And you’re going because they’ve invited you.
As you pull up to the house where you’ll stay, dozens of people surround your car, touch you gently, help you into the house, ask about your trip, and look at you in a way you’ve never seen or felt before. You sense with absolute certainty that the only concern of everyone in that town is your happiness. Because they have everything that really matters in life - because they feel loved and happy themselves - they don’t need you to do anything for them, and you know that. So you know there is nothing you can do to disappoint them or hurt them.
As you communicate with these new friends, you can see that it doesn’t matter whether you’re smart or pretty or handsome. You don’t have to do anything to impress them or get them to like you. They truly don’t care if you say something stupid or if you make mistakes.
It finally and powerfully occurs to you that it’s impossible to be embarrassed or ashamed around these people because they love you no matter what you do.
“When you feel Real Love from just one person, that love gives you greater strength to interact with everyone else in your life.” Greg Baer, M.D. Real Love Book
May you open your heart to real, unconditional love.
Thanks for being here with me.
I appreciate YOU.
With all my love,
Gloria