Letting Go of My Buddy

Finding Peace with Goodbye

Do you have a childhood story told about yourself that you hold dear?

Here’s one of my childhood stories told to me by my Mom that I hold as close as my breath.

My Buddy

My brother, Buddy, was born 17 months after me. I discovered early on that I was the one to name him Buddy. Here’s how my mother tells the story.

“We were going to call your brother, William. Since your dad goes by Bill, but you wouldn’t hear of it. Whenever we told you his name was William, you would shake your head no and say, My Buddy, my Buddy.” ‘Mom told me that I pronounced it - Buee.’

And so… William became Buddy.

Me and My Buddy

Shared Lives

Since we were so close in years we hung out together as children, teenagers and into adulthood.

Like siblings, we had our moments, but we remained close.

Buddy had many troubling times and I, the big sister and oldest of 6, went out of my way to help him by any means I could.

It’s interesting that whenever I’m afraid for him, I hear myself saying, My Buddy, my buddy.

Friend, I’ve been saying that quite a lot these last several days.

Time to Let Go of My Buddy

My Buddy is in the hospital and he’s dying.

He’s told us for some time that he was ready to go. But we, his family and friends, kept trying to keep him here.

You see, his son died in 2021 a few weeks after our brother, Frankie died. Buddy and Frankie were very close and his son was his best friend.

With an already troubled heart, he couldn’t take the losses.

With his aching heart, I believe he willed having a stroke in his sleep.

He would have died peacefully but he was found and brought back to life. I understand the need to bring him back to life, I would have done the same. ‘As humans, it’s our nature to save.’

We were told today that he has no brain activity.

So, Wednesday, Aug. 7th we will take out his ventilator and let him go.

Finding Peace

When I first heard that Buddy was barely hanging on, as you can imagine, my emotions were unspeakably intense.

I couldn’t imagine a future where Buddy wasn’t in it.

Then the thought of him being somewhere without me frightened me so much that I screamed and wailed. I’ve always had his back. How could he make it without me?

I understand that my thinking isn’t logical, but grief is emotional. And emotional I was.

I called upon the Archangel my brother loves - Archangel Michael. I prayed for him to be with him, to take care of him, to protect him, and to imbue him with love, light, and peace, things I usually do for him.

Then I called my friend Adrienne. Without telling her about my prayer she said Archangel Michael is with him.

I began to relax.

Although I feel sadness, I no longer feel afraid. I know Archangel Michael is looking out for him.

I also know that he’s going exactly where he wants to go.

Now he can be with his son and other family members. Now he can live pain-free.

The thought of Buddy no longer in pain brings me extraordinary peace.

Regardless of where he is or where I am, he will forever in my heart, remain my Buddy.

Thank you for giving me the space to share this with you.

I appreciate you.

Peace and Blessings to you and yours,

Gloria