{Taken from Google: Signs or symptoms of a dark night of the soul include spiritual depression, feeling hopeless, feeling isolated, questioning everything about yourself and your life, and searching for a sense of purpose, meaning, and/or belonging.}
She says, “I think I have to revisit my hurtful memories so they can stimulate the memories that are hidden from me. Then I’ll be able to go into my - dark night of the soul.”
While she’s talking her movements mimic her nervousness. She flails her arms, she leans forward and backwards and she darts her eyes.
Following that conversation, a few days later, I heard from another well-intentioned growth-seeking, lovely woman who also was told that her next step was to go into her… dark night of the soul. And… she believed she’d have to leave her husband, whom she dearly loves, to do this!
Although I couldn’t see her, I could hear the agitation in her voice. There was no mistaking the anguish weighing her down.
STOP!
Please, do not allow another to persuade you to do something that you don’t feel pulled to do. No matter who they are or what their credentials might be - never give your authority to another.
I’ve had downright painful experiences from following the advice of others. Even when my body, mind, and heart were telling me otherwise, I abided, all because they appeared to have more authority on the subject than I did.
There is no need to go against YOU.
You own your path!
When we listen to another when in our gut it doesn’t feel right, we are pushing.
We do not have to push to grow.
Of course, it’s important to be dedicated as growth-seeking soulful beings. But there is a big difference between dedication and pushing. One is graceful and the other, well, quite frankly, is harder than hell.
Why choose hell?!
One’s path does NOT have to be laden with brambles and thorns.
There Is Another Way
This glorious experience we call life will always give us opportunities to heal, to grow, and to become more of our God selves.
I’m not sure why this idea of the dark night of the soul is being advised.
My heart tells me that life mirrors back to us what we need to grow from, thus, we do not have to drudge everything up at once. Think about it, the universe doesn’t mirror back to you everything at once, it mirrors back to you where you’re at in the moment.
So the precious moment is where the healing can take place. It just takes our loving attention.
Our Loving Attention
It all starts with our moments.
When something happens that brings up discomfort inside of you, it can be anything - an argument, a letdown, a fleeting thought, an unexpected sadness, a challenge - it matters not what it is, pause, just pause. Take a breath or two or three. Calm yourself.
Being calm is the first step to healing. Once you’re calm you can lovingly, like a curious child, ask yourself some questions.
Get Curious and Ask Questions:
What do I need or want right now?
What can I do to feel better?
What does the child within me want? (Be willing to comfort the child within.)
Is there anything, or anyone, I need to address? (If so, what is the most loving way forward.)
Compassion
The two women mentioned above believed they were being compassionate toward themselves by moving forward with what they were told. However, every fibre of their being was screaming NO!
Hey, it’s okay to have some fear or doubt about moving forward. I’ve had plenty of times when I was shaking in my shoes.
But it’s never okay to do something in your heart and mind that feels so wrong.
To grow with grace is always to grow with deep compassion and compassion comes when we honor all of ourselves - our voice, our day-to-day desires, our dreams, our bodies, our discomfort, and our fears.
If you’re having a hard time feeling compassion toward yourself, think of someone you love dearly and ask yourself how you would treat them. Now treat you that way.
Connection
Whatever I’m going through, regardless of what it is - a physical, mental, or emotional issue, I start with being curious by asking myself questions.
Next, I make certain to work on any judgements I may have so that compassion can lead my way.
We have to be careful. Judgements can be insidious.
If you’re thinking you shouldn’t feel that way that is a judgement.
If you’re belittling yourself for your thoughts or actions that is a judgement.
If you’re trying to deny or hide how you feel that is a judgement.
Judgements can be sneaky little critters. We have to watch out for them.
Here is a quick 10-minute practice to let go of those judgements and to bring more love and acceptance into your life:
Once I feel compassion for myself, I naturally want to connect - connect deeper with myself, with others and with God.
Oh friend, that’s where the real healing takes place.
Inner Joy Compass Prompt:
If there is something you want to heal try applying, what I call the 3 Cs: Curiosity, Compassion and Connection.
To get you started:
If I were to heal this, I would feel _________and my life would be ______________?
To baby-step my way through, I’ll first_____________?
To bring in compassion, I’ll let go of my judgements and treat myself like I would_________________________________.
To connect deeper I’ll appreciate my God-Self by _________________?
“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” – Buddha
Thanks so much for being here with me.
I appreciate you.
Hey, you won’t want to miss my extra post this week. I’ll be sharing new and upcoming stuff.
With all my love,
Gloria