I got angry.
Real angry.
I let the IRS representative have it.
I could share with you how very long I remained calm and tolerated the nonsense. I could tell you how I listened and asked questions and was polite for most of the call, but none of that would change the truth - I lost my cool.
Hey, I’m like most folks. I like looking good. I like sharing how peaceful I AM, how loving I AM, how connected I AM.
And even though I’m all of that, like everyone I have my moments.
In the wake of my angry outburst - my erratic breathing, my sped-up heartbeat, and my shaky hands were so eruptive they felt akin to a plugged up sewer line spewing its grunginess all over my peaceful, loving heart.
As I staggered from my office to my living room, I was instantly struck with the plainness of what I needed.
My Graceful Choice
With deep breaths, although I still felt justified in my action toward what I considered the lion of injustice, I began blessing the IRS rep.
I bless you with pure love and light, I bless you with pure Source energy, I bless you with a Holy Miracle.
As I slowly brought my breathing into a calm rhythm, I touched my heart and repeatedly said:
I love you
I’m so sorry for forgetting who I really am.
Please forgive me.
Thank you. (Ho ‘o Pono Pono Hawaiian prayer practice)
Next, I stated several times:
I AM Here. ‘While continuing to keep my hand on my heart’
I AM There. ‘I brought to mind the IRS representative’
I AM Everywhere. ‘Inside of me, inside of the rep. and in everyone on earth’ (More about I AM)
I then had a conversation with my I AM Presence (my individualized God Self).
I don’t remember my exact words but it went something like this…
I’m sorry Beloved for losing it. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. I love you so much.
As relaxation and softness began filling my grungy heart, I thanked God for giving me the understanding to bring Grace into my discordant emotions.
Judgements Set Us Up for Misery
What I didn’t do…
I didn’t hold judgement against my action.
I didn’t berate myself.
I didn’t feel like I was an awful person for not holding my peace.
I didn’t stay stuck in feeling bad about my actions!
Friend, I chose the graceful way.
We all have challenging moments. The question is - how do we move beyond them?
Judging isn’t moving beyond…
There is no healing or growth in judgement.
When we judge ourselves, we set ourselves up for misery. Misery is brutal.
As Iyanla Vanzant says, “Nothing in life causes more pain and suffering than the judgements we hold about and against ourselves.”
We have to be willing to let go of our self-judgement to let the healing in.
Even if we need to coax ourselves along. It’s okay that I made a mistake. We all do. No one is perfect in every moment. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I AM a good person who lost my way.
From there we can move into higher truths - I AM loved no matter what. I deserve to forgive myself. I AM a Beloved Creation of God, and I AM loved unconditionally.
If we can push the pause bottom, focus on our breath, and follow with Godly statements or prayers, we can begin to move beyond our judgements of our hard moment.
We can begin to heal.
In the gentle softness of non-judgement, your loving eyes see the dazzling truth of you.
Your longing heart lets love in to do its healing magic.
Then Dearest, the peace of Grace is yours.
Grace is the face that Love wears when it meets imperfection. ‘Inspirational Quotes’
Inner Joy Compass Prompt:
There are a host of imbalanced emotions that one may be carrying.
Sadness, regret, guilt, shame, despair, revenge, fear, and on and on the list goes…
Is there anyone or anything you’re holding anger toward?
Or is there another unsettling emotion that you’re carrying around?
If so, you may want to give yourself the gift of this process.
To begin
Bring up your unharmonious emotion. (Hang in here with me.)
Now breathe a few deep belly breaths. Let your belly expand and contract completely. Full inhalation and exhalation with each breath.
Once you’ve calmed yourself, it’s time to ask what your uncomfortable emotion is trying to protect you from. (Listen closely)
Okay, now it’s time to ask - What do I need to heal this?
Listen to your answer and give you what you need.
I know it may sound strange but think about it. Our emotions are signs that something is going on inside of us.
For example, when I bring up the anger I felt toward the rep. and ask, What were you trying to protect me from?
I hear, that no one is going to take advantage of me. Especially not some stupid law that doesn’t benefit the people it’s supposed to serve.
So, I know it has to do with the feeling of being taken advantage of.
I ask, What do I need to feel no one will ever take advantage of me? (Or heal this)
I hear trust who I AM. Trust in my ability to attract only that which serves me.
Trust is my key.
I now know that I’m to do some loving exercises around building my self-trust.
There are many options for this: prayer, affirmations, visualizations, inner child work, hypnosis, bodywork, etc. I’ll go where I feel led to heal my trust issue.
Why?
Because I deserve to live a graceful life, and dear, so do you.
May you move forward with Grace.
With all my love and appreciation, I thank you for being here with me,
Gloria