My Growth hasn’t always been Graceful
I’m sitting in the car with the other retreat participants.
As we drive along, the others act like a bunch of kids about to get their dream toys, while I’m trying not to cry.
In a heavy, downhearted tone I mumble to the driver, “I don’t want to go back with everyone. Just drop me off at my room. I want to be alone.”
With an air of authority, she responds, “No, you’re going with us. You don’t need to be alone.”
Anger swells up inside me. How dare she decide what I will or won’t do!
In an exaggerated manner, I cross my arms.
Dead silence pervades.
Quiet as mice, the others try to surreptitiously peek at me.
When we arrive at the retreat location everyone, except me of course, hurries to get inside. As I inch forward in my metaphorical mud, I slowly make my way through the door.
Everyone is gathered around the two instructors.
I try not to be seen by hiding in a corner. I make myself as small as I can by curling up in a tight ball.
As the instructors talk, you can feel the excitement of the group. They’re all so damn happy!
And then…
With my head down, I feel a presence close to me. I cautiously sneak a peek. It’s one of the instructors.
She lightly places her hand on my arm. I raise my head a bit more.
She looks me in the eye. I immediately put my head back down.
I didn’t want her or anyone to see my tears that lay boiling behind my wall of protection.
She sits there. I wonder why she doesn’t leave me alone!
Finally, after what feels like forever but is actually a few minutes, I raise my head and make eye contact.
She gently allows a smile to spread across her face.
In the voice of a caring mother she lovingly says, “Honey, you feel like God doesn’t love you?”
No more holding myself together. My well-protected dam burst and my tears gush forth.
Friend, I had no clue why I was in my dark state.
All I knew was how I felt - heart-rending hopelessness - a life devoid of choices.
When this intuitive teacher gave voice to my despair, it reverberated - God doesn’t love me, God doesn’t love me - until my heart-wrenching insides felt like they would collapse from the weight of it.
Until…
My kind teacher held my face in her warm, compassionate hands while radiating a melting tenderness. With tears in her eyes, she states, “Honey, God loves you.”
(Even as I write this many years after the fact, goosebumps cover my body.)
In that unraveling moment - God loves me - truth takes hold.
Today’s Growth
Although that was many years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday.
At this juncture of my life, it’s hard for me to imagine that I could question God’s love. But I did!
I would wager that some of you have at one time or another, or maybe sometimes still do, question if God loves you.
Oh friend, if I could I would wrap everyone in God’s love until they cry happy tears.
To assist others in fully embracing their God-Selves, well in my world, that’s cause for a euphoric celebration.
As I look back on who I’ve been and who I’ve grown into, I find it nothing short of miraculous that for upwards of 30 years, there is nothing I have cared more about than connecting with my God-Presence and helping others do the same.
You see dear, regardless of what I teach or write or readings I give, my passion is always the same - assist that person(s) to fully embody their God-Presence.
The Reason It is Most Important
Today I had a Connecting session with the most delightful woman.
She had some questions and some doubts about her work, her love life, and her family life.
As I listened deeply to her eternal soul, talked with a couple of her deceased loved ones, and connected with a Celestial Light Being all her questions got answered and her doubts were put to rest.
But the biggest gift she received - can you guess? - was the connection she felt with her God-Self.
She laughed and cried as we connected to her - All-Loving-Divine-Self.
Although she didn’t call for that reason, connecting with her Highest Self, was by far the Highlight of her session. I believe it goes without saying it was the part of her session that would help her the most.
Through my years of working with folks on many levels, I have found that NOTHING makes more of a difference than to envelop one’s being with their God-Presence.
It’s why I do what I do!
As Alexander MacLaren stated so beautifully, “ Peace comes not from the absence of trouble, but from the Presence of God.”
My Offer
Would you like to get a Divine answer to a question or soothe a concern?
Please join our call today - Wed. at 7 PM Central.
Just comment with a YES, or you can email me at gloriaboysal@gmail.com and I’ll get you the call-in info.
Pss… There will be an announcement that you won’t want to miss.
Inner Joy Compass Prompt:
Have you been in hell, and like me, not have a clue why you feel the way you feel?
Dearest, there is a way out of that hellish nightmare.
When you don’t know what to do - breathe - deeply and continuously.
Then call on God - call on the Heavens.
Pour out your heart.
Don’t allow yourself to go down the, I’m all alone, rabbit hole.
If ever I feel like hell, I will_______________?
As I allow myself to call on the Heavens, I feel ______________?
To accept that I’m never alone, brings me _____________?
Fiery Truth - Deep Water Does Not Have to Drown YOU
I appreciate you.
Thanks so much for being here with me.
With all my love,
Gloria
P.S. I’m basking once again in a healthy body, and I’m overcome with enthusiasm for life and its endless possibilities.
I swear I feel like a tourist that sees everything as new and exciting. In every direction I look, there’s something fascinating to discover.
I meditate and flex my spiritual muscles by asking beyond-this-world questions practically non-stop, and I surf YouTube by diving into one thing and then another -decorating, writing, business building, and healthy eating - oh friend, I can’t seem to fill this insatiable desire of mine to learn.
Yay! I’m back.
yes! I want to join the call!
Beautiful ❤️🤲🙏🕯